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Every week I receive frantic calls and e-mails from Christian women
who feel scared, trapped, hopeless, and helpless because their most intimate relationship is abusive; verbally, physically,
sexually, or all three.
Christian leaders often lack the skills necessary to address the problem
in a wise and competent manner. So how do we look at domestic violence biblically?
1.
It is always sin. Malachi 2:16-17; Psalm 11:5; Colossians 3:19. Abusive speech is never an acceptable
way to communicate (Colossians 3:8). 2. Violence is never an appropriate response to being provoked.
People provoke us all the time but we are still responsible for our response (Ephesians 4:26; Luke 6:45). 3. Biblical
headship does not grant a husband unlimited power over his wife, the right to remove her choices from her, or the
right to have his own way all the time (Mark 10:42-45; Ephesians 5:1,2; Ephesians 6:21-29). 4. God's Purpose is to deliver the abused. Psalm 5,7,10,140;
Acts 14:5
So how does a Christian respond? The apostle Pail encountered some
spiritually abusive leaders in 2 Corinthians and he tells us not to put up with it (2 Cor. 11:20). He also encourages us in
Romans 12:21 to not be overcome by evil but to overcome evil with good.
Below are some biblical guidelines that will help you respond
to the evil of domestic violence with good toward the victim and perpetrator.
1. It is good to protect yourself from violent people.
(Proverbs 27:12; 11:9) David fled King Saul when he was violent toward him. The angel of the Lord warned
Joseph to flee to Egypt with Jesus because Herod was trying to kill him. Paul escaped from those who sought to stone
him. 2. It is good to expose the abuser. (Ephesians 5:11) Bringing the deeds of darkness into the
light is the only way to get help for both the victim and the abuser. 3. It is good to speak the truth in love
(Matthew 18:15-17) When someone grievously sins against us and will not listen, it is good to bring the matter before
the church for additional support and authority. 4. It is good to allow the violent person to experience the consequences
of his/her sinful behavior. One of life's greatest teachers is consequences. God says what we sow, we
reap (Gal.6:7) A person uses violence at home because he gets away with it. Don't let it happen. (Prov. 19:19).
God has put civil authorities in place to protect victims of abuse. The apostle Paul appealed to the Roman government
when he was being mistreated (Acts 22:24-29). We should do likewise.
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